Wednesday, November 23, 2016

The Void (Pt. 3 of Letters to My Ex)

This is the third and final installment of the Letters to My Ex series. I started to post these letters as a type of catharsis, and it's been working. Because I don't want to turn this blog into a memorial to the relationship, I will make this the last letter.

It's been a month since we've been apart, and the nights still seem terribly long without you. I know that you're probably having the time of your life, getting back out, and meeting new people like you love to do, and that brings me happiness and pain in equal measure. I wish desperately that I was at your side, doing those things, but I know now that you and I were just too different to make it.

So I am going to be happy for you. I'm going to be happy that you are now able to go out and be a social butterfly. I'm going to be happy that you will be able to pursue your dreams and wants, even if it's without me. I'm going to be happy that you can... be you. And I want you to be. I tried to "fix" something that wasn't broken, and you resented me for it, and rightly so. But now we're free of each other, and even though it's painful, I'm glad for it.

My therapist told me that I am in love with things that could be, that I adore potentiality, and that I'm constantly running. My entire existence is focused around the concept of, "To be is to do.", and I tried to bring that to our relationship. I tried to accomplish it, just like I try to accomplish everything else. And that's wrong. Apparently I still have a lot to work on, and I'm sorry that I didn't have the fortitude to realize that sooner and break it off. I miss you, but I'm glad that you're happy again. I hope to someday see you again, but until then, I hope that you're life is spectacular.

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