Christian Gays

I have been following, and occasionally responding to a blog called The Happy Alternative, which is run by a friend of mine who is a devout Christian. While I do somewhat admire his dedication to the Faith and his dedication to celibacy as an answer to, as he calls it, SSA (same sex attraction), it got me thinking. Is celibacy an ethical answer to being gay? I realize that when one is arguing with someone who has abandoned reason it is similar to administering medicine to the dead, however, I want to write a more cohesive answer to the position of celibacy, and also to say a few words to anyone who is gay and also a person of faith because, having come from a religious background, I am a student of philosophy and dedicated to true morality and ethics, free from interpretation by religious authorities. That's not to say I don't believe in a god((s)(esses)), but my beliefs are my own. My ethics are not decided by deity, but by reason and mercy. That being said, let's get started!

So, you're gay and a person of faith. How do you reconcile the two? According to my friend at The Happy Alternative, just don't get into a gay relationship, pursue god, and be celibate. That will keep you safe, sanctified and holy, right? Wrong. As the Bible graciously points out, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). That basically means you can be guilty of sin, even if you've never known(biblically) another man. If you look lustfully at another man (or woman. I'll be inclusive), that means that in god's eyes, you have just slept with them. Does that really seem viable to you? Does celibacy in that context even makes sense? Again, I say no. If you can be guilty of thought crime, even in your sleep, then that infers that you have just had sex with someone without even touching them.

Let me re-frame the question. Is celibacy, when required by divinity, ethical? Again, I say no. I am generally a sex-positive person, though I don't often post about it. I am also a student of philosophy, and a significant portion of my work has been dedicated to what makes a good life. So superficially, if you're not allowed to have sex, then your happiness (READ contentment) will be significantly diminished. Further, how can a kind, loving god deny his creations the most enriching forms of a personal relationship? Granted, I am an empiricist, and any divine authority is automatically suspect in my book, notwithstanding, anyone who tells you not to pursue a relationship that is loving and edifies both you and your partner is lying. But, I've got to jet. Stay humble, don't stumble, and I'll see you next time.

Gay Freemasons

**DISCLAIMER** The views expressed on this blog do not reflect nor speak for any Grand Lodge or any individual Lodge. The views expressed herein are mine and mine alone, and do not reflect the views or positions of any Masonic body in the known universe.

So are you familiar with Freemasons and Freemasonry? If you're not, just Google it. I'm, frankly, weary of explaining it, so I don't want to go over the usual perfunctory explanations, because those eventually become so rote that even the most seasoned Mason chokes on the words. I know it seems like a club of dusty old fuddy duddies who enjoy bad coffee more than they do good conversations, and it has, admittedly been just that for a while now. However, a new river of young, vibrant, excited young men have started to join, and I am glad for it. When I joined, the youngest member of my Lodge was about the age of Methuselah, and conversations about the good ol' days predominated the evenings. But, because of my upbringing as a home schooler, I've always preferred the company of old men to young teenagers, usually because the former is capable of giving me sage advice and regale me with stories about the usage of oil lamps and tree bark as toilet paper.

I'm going to operate off of the assumption that you already have some knowledge of this institution, because as I said, I'm a bit wear of explaining what we do. So to the meat of it. A lot of my fellow brothers are starting to wonder if the Fraternity is still relevant to the 21st. Century, and I absolutely think that it is. Where else in the world facilitates friendship among Democrats and Republicans, or Jews and Palestinians? What other institution, with roots in religious teachings, allows homos to join their ranks and attain leadership positions? The Stone Cutt... er... the Freemasons! I adore my Fraternity, but that's not to say that it's not without it's flaws.

Recently, the Grand Lodges of Georgia and Tennessee banned openly gay men from joining their ranks, alleging that we are somehow morally bankrupt people. Let me tell ya, I am so morally bankrupt. I tear the tags off of my mattress when I buy a new one, and I go five miles over the speed limit. So I'm just reckless! Anyway, I don't really concern myself with the goings on of other Grand Lodges, because piss on them. Not my circus, not my monkeys. My jurisdiction is lovely. The men are socially accepting and progressive individuals. Albeit they don't really have a thirst for the deep philosophical underpinnings of our Fraternity, but that's ok. Philosophy is definitely not for everyone.

I just wish that the older members would stop trying to quash the motivation to look for deeper knowledge. I haven't experienced this at my own lodge, but it would seem that others throughout the jurisdiction have. Which is why we do, truly need younger members. But we'll see what happens. Be humble, don't stumble, and I'll look forward to seeing you next week!

When the Earth's Crust Began to Cool...

I won't do some trivial introduction about how I'm glad that you're here to listen to me or anything of the sort. I generally hate small talk. Here is a brief intro to... well... me I guess. I'm a Utah native, though I much prefer the East Coast to Utah, mainly because of the ocean. My mother very graciously home schooled me and my three other siblings in our one room cabin in the Ogden valley of Utah. Just kidding. Kind of. I was home schooled for 11 years, whereupon my parents sent me to a public school. I suppose that is part of the reason why I'm a bit odd. I use words like 'whereupon' and 'obstreperous'. Seriously, how many homos do you know that speak like that? Anyway, back to when the Earth's crust began to cool. Being home schooled came with it's own unique set of challenges and obstacles, such as the incessant question of whether or not I got to start school whenever I wanted to, if I got to do school in my jammies, etc. And the answer is no. Absolutely not. I was usually up by 07:00, and started school at 08:00, and didn't get done till around 15:00. So it was rigorous physically. Academically, it was exhilarating, but taxing. We memorized poetry, learned how to diagram sentences, dissect a word etymologically, and so on. To say it was unconventional would be an understatement. I think the thing that I enjoyed most about this is how I had my best friends around me at all times. Our family is still incredibly tight nit because of the sheer volume of time that we had (READ were forced) to spend together. It was either adapt and change, or kill each other, and since we generally frowned upon capital offenses, we decided not to kill each other. I'm not sure how far this blog will go, but for my family's privacy, I'll call my siblings... Danielle, Lynn, and Sully. I'm the youngest. 

It was fun, as I've said. The only real handicap I would say that being home schooled inflicted was that I'll be damned if I can relate to my peers. For as long as I can remember, they've all seemed a bit vacuous and remarkably uninteresting. Unfortunately, that continues to this day. When others enjoy going out and getting hammered, I enjoy staying home and discussing the philosophy of language over a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black. That's not to say I'm a complete fuddy duddy. I enjoy going to the club and seeing all of the pretty boys and girls, but I don't enjoy doing it often. Ah well, I'm an imperfect person. The other conceivable drawback of it was the religious indoctrination. Our curriculum was provided by a Christian academy based out of Florida called Abeka Academy. Very rigorous and strenuous academically, however they were also a bit hot and heavy for Jesus. So that imbued me with a really neat sense of morality. I mean, fuck gays and atheists, right? Those people just don't know what they're missing out on. Being on Jesus is righteous, as they say. Obviously that has since changed, but I'm still dealing with the fall out. But because of my inquisitiveness, I always asked super obnoxious questions of my Sunday school teachers, like, "Well, what about the tribes in New Guinea that haven't been contacted? Are they going to hell? (The obvious answer is yes). I was a cantankerous child, and gave no rest to my teachers. Anyway, the fact that they could never provide me with satisfactory answers, or at least uniform answers, began to smack of bullshit to me, and so I began to question the truth of Christianity. Obviously I didn't say a damn thing to my parents or any clergymen, except for one ill-fated adventure into an adult Sunday school class, which resulted in a stern talking to from the assistant pastor (I wasn't important enough to warrant a talking to from the actual pastor). Ah, good times. 

But here I am today. I'll save losing my religion and coming out for another day, because those are just footnotes to me. To be frank, I've tried blogging in the past, but I'm going to give it another shot, to see if I can actually make a go of it. I don't think my ideas are particularly special, or worth sharing, but I am interested to see what the experiences of others are, and if there are indeed other gay home schooled Freemasons out there. Just kidding, I don't really care. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin, and don't need yours (it put's the lotion on it's skin... :-P). Seriously though, I want to share my experiences of being a gay Freemason, the interactions with my family, most of whom are still super religious, and just my life in general as I put myself through University, and begin working on accomplishing my goals. I appreciate your time, reading my mindless twaddle, and I hope to see you again. Be humble, don't stumble, and I'll see you again soon.

Corollary

So you now know I was homeschooled. What a life that was. I started to understand that I was different from my brother and my posse (Yes. Posse) at church at a fairly young age. I finally came to terms with the fact that I am gay about three years ago. This was not easy for several reasons. I grew up in a religious household, I had strong convictions about god, and it did legitimately seem like an abomination. Regardless, I came to terms with it, and now I have a moderately content life. I still get stuck in my own head about it, and the numerous facets of being the black sheep of my family.

I have been single for five years. Mostly because my first relationship failed spectacularly. We got into a contest to see who would be the bigger ass, and I won. So I swore off any sort of intimacy, mostly because she went after the size of my wedding tackle. So I have, since then, been overwhelmingly self conscious about my dinky winky. Anyway, I just got into a relationship with a guy for the first time in my life, and unbeknownst to him, the blackness from the depths of my mind was already engulfing me. Fortunately I was able to talk it out, and things seem to be progressing nicely.