Monday, February 27, 2017

I couldn't get any peace.

I hope everyone has been having a good year. I took a step or two away because I was over-stretched and didn't want to focus my attention on things that could be left alone for a minute. Anyway, I'm back again, full of piss and vinegar, as per the usual.

Recently, I was made aware of a new job opportunity in a city that would have cut my commute times in half, fuel costs, etc. It was in development, where I eventually want to land anyway, and the benefits package was generous. All around it seemed like a really great way to go. However, it would have been a significant pay cut. Around 25% of my income. Now, I could lie and say that I'm not a money grubbing jerk, but that would... well... be lying. I like my lifestyle, and I have a good gig going at my current job. Anyway,  I thought that the shorter commute could justify it, so I sent my acceptance email and went merrily on my way.

Except that I wasn't too merry. You see, growing up, my Dad always told me, listen to your gut. Listen to your instincts. If they're telling you something isn't right, chances are they're probably right. This has led to me being in tune, for lack of a better phrase, with my instincts, and they have rarely steered me wrong. That's what happened after I accepted the new job. I just couldn't get any peace about my decision That's what I say when my instincts are telling me that I'm about to go off the reservation.

But what does it mean? When I say I couldn't get any peace about *insert situation here*, it means that I didn't/wouldn't listen to my instincts and what I'm doing is a bad idea. That means I lose my appetite, I can't sleep, and I'm constantly anxious. Now, a lot of people say that, "you have to go outside of your comfort zone to grow!". I say bullshit. Yes, getting out of your comfort zone to do new things is good. It does help you grow. But I am of the humble opinion that the best learning and growth happens inside your comfort zone. Imagine, if you will, that you're in a battle, bullets are zipping over your head, artillery shells are landing close to your position, and so on. Then, a fellow solider sidles up next to you and says, "We need you to do this complex math problem. Here are the instructions, aaannd.... GO!". Is that really the most conducive situation to learning? I think not. Yet so many self-help gurus seem to advocate for throwing yourself into the wild unknown. However, it would seem that the best growth happens slowly.

Life, frankly, is a constant battle. Bills, car problems, relationships, just to name a few, are moving targets in our lives that shoot back at us. I had to back out of this job because between school and the Fraternity, I realized (a little late), that this was not the best situation for me to put myself in. I don't have the mental power to learn a new job in the middle of the semester, and I have a pretty sweet gig as it is. So for now, I am quite happy in my little comfort zone, and I'm glad that I didn't take the plunge. That is better left for another day. But, I've got to jet. Stay humble, don't stumble, and I will see you next time.

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